The Rock For President

Everybody’s talking about Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson lately so I figured I’d better hop up onto the bandwagon, too. Right up front, let’s get one thing out of the way. I’m a fan. A big fan. I wasn’t always one, however. I wasn’t very impressed when The Rock burst into the entertainment world wrestling in the WWF in the late 90’s. Maybe it was that awful, meme-worthy haircut. I was, however, a big pro wrestling fan, so I was pretty much forced to watch as the Rock climbed up the ladder of wrasslin’ success. He started to grow on me, slowly, over time, like a fungus, I suppose. I couldn’t deny his charisma and skills on the microphone. His authenticity and all-around good guy vibe won me over and now I proudly count myself as one of his many, many fans. How many? So many that there’s actually serious talk about him making a Presidential run in 2020! Crazy, right? Maybe not as crazy as you might think.

In his latest blockbuster, Johnson plays a building inspector, of all things. Doesn’t sound much like the kind of role the guy who played the Scorpion King and Hercules would be cast in, right? However, since he’s the Rock, he’s not your run-of-the-mill building inspector. No, because he’s the freaking Rock he’s a 6-foot-5, 258 pound ripped former Navy SEAL body builder building inspector who’s had his leg blown off in a combat rescue operation. It’s pretty awesome that they gave their lead character this disability to deal with. Really, it turns out that being an amputee isn’t as much of a disadvantage as you might imagine, at least for The Rock. Throughout the movie, Johnson utilizes his prosthetic limb in a variety of creative and death-defying ways. By the end of the story, his apparent disability actually becomes more like a super-power!

President Dwayne Johnson? I don’t think we could do much worse than the reality TV star we have in the Oval Office right now. Question: Did you even know if Obama HAD a lawyer? In 8 years I don’t recall ever once hearing about the President’s attorney. Things are quite different today. Trump’s platoon of attorneys gets more press than Beyonce does, for cryin out loud. But I digress. The Rock has just as much political experience as candidate Donald Trump. Johnson is also an experienced businessman, which seemed to be the main selling point for electing trump. The Rock launched “Seven Bucks Productions” in 2012, with several successful enterprises including a successful digital production studio and an advertising agency under the Seven Bucks banner. So you can’t say Johnson doesn’t know business.

The main difference, of course, is that Dwayne Johnson, unlike Donald Trump, is not a complete and utter nincompoop. Ultimately I think we would all be better served by electing an actual politician for the White House, but at this point, I’d settle for someone who wasn’t actively trying to destroy the planet I currently reside on. It is indeed a sorry commentary on our current administration when the idea of electing as President a man who made his living getting hit in the head with steel chairs sounds like a better option.

Can you smell what The Rock is cookin’?

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